I thought it would be nice to take a break from the heavy topics of the last two posts and return to the blog’s core purpose – talking about my mental health recovery.
Well, I have the pleasure to report some positive stuff for once!
I realised last week that I have been concentrating on the bigger picture and not how to get to it, fully. Yeah, I had dabbled, but not actually seriously planned.
So, I decided to break my life into three sections and deal with each one individually.
- Work
- Home
- Study
Let’s face it, just focusing on one is a tall ask when the lunacy is pulling at your sanity strings. No wonder I was struggling when trying to work with all three.
This week I tackled work.
With all the issues I’ve had over the last few months, from my breakdown to neighbour problems, I have let work lapse. Luckily, I work from home and can look busy while curled up in a corner, rocking back and forth as I try not to cry. That cannot carry on. I have life plans, and they do not involve getting fired – which will surely happen once my boss realises how rubbish I am.
As the topic of my first update post was baby steps, I have approached sorting work out in little steps.
“Organising is a journey, not a destination.”
Anon
With the fog of low mood robbing me of any creativity, I turned to the most valuable source of knowledge I know, YouTube. This was a mistake as I was instantly assaulted by a cacophony of advice. One chap, though, popped up as interesting – Carl Pullein. I will link to his channel here.
He seems like a sensible chap and talks about all things organisational, and he likes fountain pens – which is what drew me.
Time Blocking
As I watched his videos, I was drawn to something called ‘Time Blocking’. Which, for those that don’t know is where you allocate chunks of time to a particular task. I had seen it elsewhere, but it looked too complicated, and my broken mind needs simple solutions, so I’d dismissed it. But Carl presents another way of doing it that appeals to me.
What he suggests, instead of planning a task to each block, allocating a period to do something instead. Giving yourself the freedom to be quicker – or longer – than you need to be.
It was while watching the video, as I quietly chewed my processed-cereal breakfast, that I had an epiphany -or sugar rush, I’m not sure which.
I would block my week into work areas. After breakfast, in a rush of excitement, I sat down and started planning.
First, I split my work into areas and came up with five.
- Objectives. The things I’m assessed on, which makes a large part of my job.
- Meetings.
- Team stuff
- Planning
- Other stuff – such as organising and things that do not fit in the above.
That decided, I then made myself a new calendar in Outlook and proceeded to stick blocks of time into my diary, around prebooked meetings. It was fun as I got to play with fancy colours and everything!
That done, I’d had enough – it was Sunday after all.
Monday morning came and I felt apprehensive as I approached my first ‘Objectives’ slot – and stared at an empty screen! I had no idea what to do!
Luckily, I have a very complete job description, so I took that and gave each objective a name – from communications to training.
Realising I had to break them down into smaller tasks, I set up an MS Planner for each one – building four pots/bins or whatever they’re called. – Planned – In progress – Complete and Parked – and creating tasks.
That is as far as I got on Monday. My brain had run out of battery and needed time to recharge! But I had a plan. Which I didn’t start the day with. I felt good.
Moving on
Over the next couple of days, I created a fancy OneNote notebook to track everything and started attacking some of the tasks on my planner. It is weird, there is something strangely satisfying in completing a task and moving it over to the ‘completed’ pot.
It is not all easy though, there have been times when I have not been able to complete a task. That’s where OneNote comes in. I update the page for whatever task I’ve been working on, so my brain doesn’t have to remember where I got to.
I’ve heard the term ‘second brain’ mentioned many times, and If I understand it correctly, it’s getting a machine to do the remembering for you. I know there’s probably better systems, but this seems to be working for me now.
“For every minute spent organising, and hour is earned.”
Benjamin Franklin
It is a new way of thinking and working for me. All my life, until my mental health hit the toilet, I have not needed planning or anything like that. I have just remembered what I need to do – holding a thousand tasks in my mind like a wizard.
I cannot do that anymore. The twin evils of depression and anxiety have made that impossible. By noting down my tasks, I don’t have to worry about forgetting them. However, and it is a huge however, the very act of noting stuff down when the black dog is biting will be a hard thing to do. I am not sure how I will tackle that when it happens.
I know I have been very positive, but the week was not all smooth sailing. Thursday threw a spanner into the gearbox of progress and was a real test of my resolve.
I had my day planned but got pulled into an all-day meeting. I was anticipating a productive day – but instead spent it staring out of a window in a virtual meeting that I had little interest in. It left me in a bit of a downer if I’m honest.
However, I remembered my CBT – glass half full – training and tried to comfort myself that it wasn’t my fault, and I’d had a good week so far and could still end the working week well. That helped a little, but I still had to force myself to do some work once the meeting ended.
I know that the road is rocky, I’ve said that previously, and I must ride the bumps out.
It is baby steps that have helped me have a productive week, the first in months. For once I feel good about my work week – even taking Thursday into account.
I will update you on how it goes.
Steve